U-Turn Ahead

U-Turn Ahead

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So it has been almost 2 months since I last posted anything. Let me catch you up on what’s been happening…just give me a second…I’m sure there’s been something…Nope I got nothing. Not one thing. Two months have passed, and I can’t really remember much about them. I have been utterly lost in life. Does that ever happen to you?

This is not the good kind of “lost.” The kind where you just get so caught up in the moment, caught up in living that things like blogs and email and social media fall by the wayside. That kind of lost (which I don’t even think of as lost, so much as I do just truly living) is ok. More than ok. That kind of lost is simply perfection. What more could anyone ask than to be so entirely immersed in your own life that you forget to play commentator?

What I have been doing? It has not been that. That kind of living involves conscious appreciation for each moment that you’re experiencing. It involves being in the moment and knowing that you’re in the moment and loving the fact that you’re in the moment. I’m grateful to have had many times like that (I even blogged about my last one) in the past, and I’m sure I’ll have many more in the future. But that is not what has been going on the last two months.

As I said before, I have been lost. I know that I’ve worked. I’ve played. I’ve cleaned. I’ve loved. I’m sure I even enjoyed a large part of May and June. But I don’t really feel it. You know? It’s just one of those times when you look up and go, “it’s almost July? When did that happen?” I have just been caught up in the daily grind.

And it fucking sucks.

There. I said it. I started to edit myself, but then I thought “why?” What better way to describe the feeling that your life is a chore? There isn’t one. I typed and retyped and nothing. else. worked. So there it is. You can love it or hate it, but you can’t deny the truth that sometimes only an f-bomb will do. And this is definitely one of those times. At least for me it is. You see, I live my life fairly loosey-goosey. I’m not big on structures and schedules. I like to take what life throws at me and run with it.

Dinner at 8 instead of 6 so we can capture the fading sunlight? Yes!

Cancelled date with dirty clothes and dirty floors so we can have a bonfire with the family? Absolutely!

Bedtime moved back to 11 because the lightning bugs were begging to be chased? Fantastic!

These are the things that make me happy. These are what make me really feel my life down in my bones. And sometimes a schedule just gets in the way of all that. Call me a hippy, but I just love LIFE. I love my family, my friends, my job. I love doing everything and doing nothing. I enjoy it all. So you can see why it feeling like a chore pisses me off so much.

But I’m happy to say that I’ve snapped myself out it. I found unlikely inspiration in what has got to be the worst road construction ever in the history of this planet. I won’t go in to the details, but it is a hot mess. It caused me to make a U-turn on my way to work (and by U-turn, I mean that at 3am, still drowsy from cold medicine, I couldn’t tell if the road was open or closed and I found myself on the interstate, headed away from work, and had to use the “authorized vehicles only” pull off) and then make another  U-Turn on my way home from work (and by U-turn I mean, “there’s no way in hell I’m sitting in this traffic. Let me just turn around and take the back way home.)

That second one got me thinking about life and how I’ve been in a rut. I missed my blog. I missed reading. I missed all the things that made my life, a life. So here I am. Back and ready to enjoy every minute of everything. I hope you are too! 🙂

P.S.

I know I said I snapped myself out of it, but I have to give a shout out to my friend at work. He just would NOT STOP asking me about my blog. He kept it front and center in my mind, which lead to the whole U-Turn epiphany and to this blog, which has now turned into the longest “Hello!” in the world. Thanks for not letting me give it up!

Title: (insert name of blog here)

Title: (insert name of blog here)

Today has been a day that reminded me, more than once, why I chose the name  “My Household DISorder.” Note the emphasis on the “dis.” Scratch that. This week has reminded me why.

I don’t know if my kids have become messier or if I’ve been lazier, but for whatever reason, I just can’t keep up this week. My house is a disaster. For every one thing I pick up, three more materialize on the floor. I know what you’re thinking parents. “That’s just having kids. Nothing special.” My response? I know it always seems that way, but I swear to god it’s ACTUALLY happening in my house this week.

I’ve also been experiencing a little “case of the melancholies” as I like to call it. This means that instead of the mess spurring me into a cleaning frenzy, it has beaten me down. I’ve been stomped into a catatonic state of “I don’t give a damn.” This week has stolen all my mom magic that allows me to be a human punching bag. I am defeated. Knocked out. Life is the champion this round.

Given this information you have probably figured out that there hasn’t been a lot of kitchen action this week. I’ll spare you the details, but just know this: Ham sandwiches and bananas. For dinner. Last night. Yeah… Because of this new low, I decided I should get back in the ring tonight and actually feed my family. I should have just stayed down for the count.

Since it’s Cinco de Mayo, I decided to make quesadillas. (The fact that they require almost no work and are done in like, 2 seconds, had nothing to do with it. Promise.) I was about to get started in the kitchen when I got a phone call. Since the kids were happily playing in J’s bedroom, I switched the burner right back off and stepped into the living room to take the call. Having lulled me into a false sense of security, my darling children chose this moment to act.

I came back into the kitchen to discover the loaf of bread COVERED in mustard. My kids somehow (don’t you wish we could ever know how?!) managed to silently sneak into the kitchen, silently open the child locked refrigerator, silently retrieve the bread from the counter, and silently squeeze half the bottle of yellow mustard onto it. My hearing is admittedly pretty terrible, but this seems impossible. I mean, I live in a double wide for crying out loud! My living room is literally right next to the kitchen! And yet, they made it happen.

My small silver lining was that at least the bread wasn’t ruined. The mustard was only covering the plastic. Except that it wasn’t. My brilliant (read:devious)  little angels had poked little angel finger sized holes in the plastic first. And then had squeezed the not so little amount of mustard onto the bag. Where it proceeded to seep perfectly into the entire loaf of bread.

I surprisingly still made the quesadillas. Which promptly turned into quesadilla soup all over the dining room table when he poured out his cup. Apparently, my small Cinco de Mayo celebration of quesadillas for dinner wasn’t enough for my kids. They have decided to throw their own party. One in which they release all their inner demons. Is it Cinco de Seis yet?????

P.S.

Did I mention I started this day by accidently calling my boss? At 2:32 this morning? Oh yeah, it happened. It’s a good thing that I’ve known him practically forever. And that we are good friends. And that my whole store team is like one big family. I mean, could you imagine if it wasn’t??? But still, what a way to kick off my day.